Tonight I ran at sundown, mid-run I stopped to walk awhile. The shoots of pink spreading down the sky. I thought to myself how beautiful life was, and a tear moved down my cheek. I saw an airplane glide into the wide expanse of sky that will be experienced for the first time and I felt, for a change, that I would not desire for all the world to be on it. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Free Bird

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Dear Brian

I am sorry. I was wrong. I realized something tonight as I listened in irritation to a man who found it impossible to enunciate. Do I really want the world to all enunciate? The irritation in me eagerly declared "Dear God yes!" but do I? It's just one, rather large step, toward conformity. Why not let people just be? I have never desired for every person to be uniform, and yet here I was irritated by difference. If you love this girl, as much as you claim you do, I think you should tell her. But it doesn't make you wrong not to. You're giving her up because you truly believe her life will be better for it, and I insinuated it was cowardly. Your truly beautiful. I dearly hope, if I ever found myself in that position, I could be as honorable as you.

Inspiration for "Brian"

Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking. And the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about you love me too?
Sally: How about I'm leaving.
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry Harry, I know it's New Years Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me and expect thatto make everything alright. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well how does it work?
Sally: I don't know but not this way.
Harry: Well how about this way. I love that you get cold when it's seventyone degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order asandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you'relooking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I canstill smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last personI want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'mlonely, and it's not because it's New Years Eve. I came here tonight becausewhen you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, youwant the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see, that is just like you Harry. You say things like that and youmake it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Harry... I really hateyou. I hate you.

brian's story

Recently I heard a story that made my heart melt, and subsequently break. This isn't very eloquently put, but it's very late/early and I'm using this to avoid a paper, and try and relinquish my thoughts on it so I can focus.

My friend I haven't talked to in awhile, described a girl that he has liked for a year or so to me saying (these are my words not his, but the meaning is the same):
I can't even describe her. She's my dream girl (a term I mocked him endlessly for). She makes me feel... alive. Every time she enters the room, it's like I can feel it. I hear her laugh or her voice and my entire body responds. When we talk my heart feels light, and when she looks me in the eyes I can't remember a word I was saying. I even stammer sometimes, and when she laughs at it I melt. But she's just so cool too, she's the type of person that knows exactly what to say or do. We have so much in common, she loves hockey and shitty japanese films. I feel drawn to her, but it hurts to have her there because it feels so... hopeless. She's way out of my league; I'm not half the person that she is, but when I'm with her, she makes me feel as though I'm a better person than I even thought I was. And she loves people, truly. She's like no one I've ever met before.

This is written in a voice of mine recalling his, and I realize it may sound a little confused. My first attempt was to emulate his, trust me much worse. Honestly, though, even the more sentimental comments were really his own just differently phrased. After he left, naturally I felt very light-hearted and excited, giddy, similar feeling as every time I watch When Harry Met Sally. But I soon realized something that broke my heart. He is never going to tell her. There will be no finale scene on New Years, when he realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He knows. Now. And nothing. What will be the actual outcome? He will likely meet some other girl. I'm sure she will be very nice. And that will be that. And most people would shrug, and move on. Because our concept of love isn't what our heart most ardently desires or yearns for. But what will come naturally, easily. We settle. It sounds cruel, and I'm sure that many are contentedly happy settling. Contentendly happy isn't comparable to lightening striking, just a great deal safer... "but eh? what are you gonna do?" My heart breaks.

protection

Her eyes slowly reopened and drew to him. He loved stronger than any she had ever known. She wanted to touch him. She needed to reach over, encourage his body to turn with the slightest tug, whether half-awake or entirely asleep his arms would unfailingly open and she would nestle inside. Her face would move instinctively to the nook between his neck and chin; she would deeply inhale him, as his arms would enclose tightly and protectively around her. She didn’t need him to understand her obscurity; she needed his innocence to pull her from them. Her arms drew tighter around her body, restraining her passions to allow him as long as an escape from the pain tonight promised as was in her power.

On my jog, I paused at a busy intersection. An old man looked at me and told me I couldn't always run from my problems. I replied, "With all due respect sir, you underestimate my stamina." and ran on.